What every guy should know

I was in a little bar in Lovell Wyoming on my way to back Yellowstone from a walkabout in the area and overhead a couple of conversations.  The three folks on my left were discussing the finer points of butchering an Elk and the couple on my right were talking about what should be done to the plumbing on the RV.  Then the second couple switched topics  to home dentistry.    I am ashamed to say that I am not up on any of these skills.   That is fairly disappointing since I was considering myself a man of the world.  Not any more.   Maybe it was the tequila that caused me to start wondering about what a man should really know before he becomes worm food?  Here is my bar napkin list from Sam’s in Wyoming.  In no particular order.  Let me know what should be added.

1. Ironing
2. How to fillet a fish
3. Auto repair or being able to fake it.
4. Grilling....anything
5. How to use a chain saw...without loosing a limb or needing to cut anything
6. The butterfly technique....Look it up
7. Elk butchering for sure
8. RV and household plumbing...wait but I rent?  doesn’t matter
9. The tango...a la “Scent of a Woman”.
10. How to ride a Harley
11. How to tie a bow tie....no clip ons you dweebs.
12. Carving a Turkey..
13. A dude has to know how to swim... not the “JAWS” head out of the water way either.
14. Ahh, that thing you do that is not the other thing...with your honey
15. Craps...no not that kind...the Vegas kind.
16. Gourmet cooking.  You only need one dish to swoon them...practice practice practice.
17. Celestial navigation
18. A little two step.
19. Deck building.  Big boys build their own house.
20. Playing an instrument.  Doesn’t really matter what but your old high school tuba may be out.
21. Start a fire.....on purpose
22. Opening a longneck without an opener
23. Three ball juggling...because that one I can do.
24. Shut up and listen
25. Find life in every breath.

Optional 26.   Home dentistry....?

The Three Bears

Every once in awhile you are given a gift that maybe doesn’t make sense at the time.  We’ve all had it.  The value of the thing or event is only understood after the fact.  Later down the road.  Someone is very fortunate to be able to see the magic in that gift at the time it’s given.  Well, yesterday I was given a gift.   A momma grizzly and her cubs feasting on a bison kill.  Now, I realize that is not a tropical cruise or a Rolex but I think this one is more unique and certainly more rare.  Myself and a couple of other folks got the pleasure of watching the mom teach the cubs the finer points of how to chew an ear  and barrel roll off a carcass.   Remember when your mother taught you things?    I know mothers day has long passed but if you get a chance this weekend...raise a glass to those hidden gifts and why not add moms too.  

Close Encounters of the Furry Kind

My morning hike this morning was very interesting and stimulating.  This young Griz and I had a very close encounter around a bend in the trail.  He was small by standards, about 300 lbs but plenty big enough to release a little Adrenaline in the old body.  I snapped this pic after I got farther away.  Lucky for me he was much more interested in the grubs he was digging up.  I will call him “Charlie”.  Charlie is going to cause a lot of trouble today I have a feeling.  This bear is very close to one of the most popular tourist sites in the Canyon area.  I will be seeing him a little later I imagine. OPPS, there goes the radio now...LOL.  Charlie is named in honor of my call sign.  4 Charlie 20. So, if your are in the park today...and have a radio, call, “4 Charlie 20” and lets have lunch.  Bring the bear spray.

Hot mud and other facts of life

This is called a paint pot.  I’m not completely sure if that is a scientific term or one some  high browed visitor used a hundred years ago to describe the feature.  Yep, they call them features here.  They are amazing in their own little way I suppose.  What’s even more amazing is that I walked a mile to see them carrying a big camera.  The steady stream of tourists moving up and down the trail somehow reminds me of going to a bunch of museums in a row.  They have that blank tourist stare you get from too many “features”.  You know.. you want to look interested because you don’t want people to think you’re a savage but you really are museumed out.   Next, Next, Next.  It was enlightening to watch people just stand there and wait for the next bubble.  I’m sure the lady on the crutches was very impressed when she finally got there.  So my advice to folks who come up to me looking for the next great secret of the Yellowstone is, “features in moderation please”.  

Buffalo 4, Tourist 0

Buffalo 4   Tourist 0

It might be in poor taste to keep score but I’m going to do it anyway.  I figure that the Buffs could use a win considering how they haven’t gotten a fair fight over the last 300 years.   This year the “big shaggies” are on a roll.  Shear muscle and horn meet bacteria level stupidity.  We had one where a rather intoxicated female ran full on into the back off a big bull in total darkness sneaking across a field she shouldn’t have been in.  In another more unfortunate encounter an older lady was hiking and got in a little hacky sack with a big bull.  Needless to say....she was the hacky sack. 

Yesterday, was buffalo day. (Bison ok).  We were herding a big herd across a narrow stretch of road by yelling and slapping our safety vests on the ground.  I was feeling very “ cowboy like” and had most on my side across the road except for one rather large fellow who happened to be standing next to a car full of terrified Asian tourists.  I advanced with presence because I am a ranger and had the hat.  I focused on the bull and started slapping the ground.  The bull just turned and made eye contact with me.  Hum...I thought...this is not going according to plan.  Just as I was about to be more of a man, I heard the screams of the wildlife ranger in the background.  She was screaming..NOT THAT ONE..HE DOESN”T LIKE THAT.   Now those are not words one likes to hear when exposed in the open with an angry 1200 lb. piece of meat.  The only car anywhere close was one that looked like a match box toy.  I could feel the horrified occupants praying that I would not run their direction.  Fortunately, the bull decided I was not worth the effort and walked off.   Only the strong and adequately supervised rookies survive on the Yellowstone.

One of the Herd

Has anyone noticed that as we bounce along the rutted dirt road of life, we encounter what we think are “all kinds of people”.  Some rich some poor, some sweet some....mean spirited, some of different color or beliefs...  But you know...looking down on this herd of “Buffalo”  yes, I called them Buffalo.  I don’t care what the text book calls them...to me...they are BUFFALO.  I realized that we are really all just the same.  No real differences only made up ones.  I wonder if my neighbor Ned is in that herd just chilling by the Yellowstone River.  If he is, Ned, enjoy the beauty and sunshine.  We really are all the same in the end.  But don’t forget to let the colors within shine out too.  (reason for the other picture....get it.)  Your homework for the day...find a way to bridge a gap.  You know what I mean.  

The Road Less Traveled

The Road Less Traveled....

Today was a monumental day.  I found a near perfect road into the wilderness.  The Grassy Lake Road out of Flagg ranch that goes 47 miles to Ashton, Idaho.  It twists and turns through the forest  over streams and through high meadows.  Nothing but gravel and rutted track.   My favorite.  And best of all....no tour buses loaded with people.  No RV’s or mini vans....no bear jams either.    Just a road less traveled by....and that has made all the difference.  Taking that road less traveled has been one great passion of mine over the years.  I can honestly say that I have only been disappointed once or twice in countless adventures on that road.  So, next time you see that road whatever it is....take it.  Worry about where you end up some other time.  You won’t be disappointed.