JUMP

What are your thoughts for the next year?  Is it going to be another year of playing it safe?  Another year of doing what is expected of you and not what you really want to do.  We have all done it.  Most of us including me have done it too many times.  There are so many thoughts out there about what and how you should live each day.  Everyone of them telling you something that makes sense.  We hear it and then just ignore the ugly truth that we are often slaves to lives we do not want but could really change if we decided we wanted to.   Have you ever talked to a very old person about life?   Occasionally one will give you some clear, solid, and uncluttered advice,      "Do not go quietly into the night".  

Life of Passion

School is over.  I already miss it.  Alas, I was not to the sufficient level to perform my alternativa against "Conquistador".  (Thank God).  It was one of the most interesting and delightful things I have ever done.  The shear power of passion made all of this possible.  Fred Renk.  The memories and trappings of a life in the sport cover the walls of the ranch.  The suites of lights worn by his son, David Renk are placed with honor in the middle of the room.  No matter what you think of the spectacle you can't take away the fact that it is as old as we are.  Man against beast.  Take it for the spectacle I would urge you.  Bloodless bullfighting is an art and is moving the sword away from the age old event.  Like all things it will change or die.  No one knows which way the bullfight will go.    I encourage everyone to go out and enjoy the ride,  "OLE"!

A Date with Destiny

Waiting for my date to come into the ring is a frightening time.  Kind of hopping from one foot to the other and knowing that I would be judged by, coming out alive, controlling the bull, and keeping my feet still didn't help me settle down.  OK, no bull today.  The exam is not until Friday.  I did have an extraordinary day at the Santa Maria bullring.  I received some time with the famous American Matador David Renk.  He is the 6th and youngest US Matador in History.  The man became an artist and a ballerina with the muleta and sword in his hands.  Really worth the price of admission to get a private lesson from one of the greatest.  Unfortunately, I will be killed anyway on Friday since even the master can only do so much.   Like all wannabe's I continue to say, "shit I can do this, it's not that hard", and will endeavor to preserver.

Ballet of Death

It was a long day of "derechazo's" and "passe alto's", I am exhausted.  These moves are done with a small cape "the Muleta" and a sword.  The sword is very small and used to hold up the cape which makes the bull's target a little bigger.  Bigger target away from my flesh is a good thing.  Tomorrow is the long day.  I will start early with honing the basics and then move into some fancy things.  I asked the master Don Renk, what was on tap for Friday, "the final exam", he said throwing away his cigarette and motioning to the big hay bale in a back corral.  Welcome Conquistador.  A pardoned bull of legend.

&^%$(&), was he kidding?  The bloodless bullfight?  Did that mean both parties?

Shadow Bull

Pushing away the cigarette smoke and constant beer I learned that school is not always what you remember it to be.  Today I worked to master the "Veronica" pass.  I have a special place in my heart for the Veronica.  It is smooth and long without a hint of fear.  The pass releases energy from the bull and allows the matador to study the style and quality of the animal.  Today I received a passing grade from Don Renk with the caution that my "media Veronica" was in need of work.  The thought of turning my back on a 1200 pound bull and putting the cape on my hip and walking away did not settle into my comfort zone.  I will work on it.  Tomorrow are the moves with the small cape and more practice.  My arms are telling me that the cape is much heavier than on TV.  So my friends ... as I fight the shadow bull to perfection.....OLE!

How to be a Matador

The unknown world of the Taurine is being revealed to me in my first day of Bull Fighting school.  The Santa Maria Bull Ring is located in La Gloria, Texas just a few miles from the border.  The school and ring is run by Fred Renk, a former professional matador with the occasional help of his son David Renk, the 7th American to be confirmed at as a top level matador.  The place is not what you would think by any stretch of the imagination but one totally conceived of passion, dreams, and dedication to an art form.  Fred is a walking encyclopedia of bull fighting history and lore.  Just sitting with him for a hour over a beer taught me more about bull fighting than I could have ever read in a book.  Every faded photo and piece of memorabilia has a story and history.  The names and faced of the brave men and women on the horns are alive to Fred even if they are themselves are long since gone.  It's worth a trip I think.  Stay tuned.... tomorrow I will be in the ring.  With a horned fake bull of course.  OLE!

Miles

Relax

The room was dark and quiet. Sounds of Indian flute music softly danced from the small jam box in the corner. I’m not sure a jam box in a massage room can truly be called a jam box but there is was. Clothes off and under the sheet I slowly wedged my face into the head loop at the top of the table. I let out a big sigh and began the process to complete and utter relaxation. It worked for a second and then my arm fell off of the table. My large frame didn’t allow much room on the sides.

Kathy came in and knowing not to say anything to break my relation ritual just began her routine. The warm hands and pressure felt great on my tired sore body. This was going to be a good one I thought as relaxation was taking hold. As I drifted to nirvana I hoped I had turned off my cell phone on the table. That would be a bitch if work started to call. Especially that goof from Canada. I really needed to get up there and take care of that. Travel that was all I seemed to do these days and with that old suitcase no wonder it was not fun. So after this massage I have to go to the mall to get another one but that would be hard because of the traffic and the weather. It would allow me to eat sushi which was good because I needed to go to the store and pick up some things and I sure hoped I didn’t see my neighbor this time. I should just move away and take advantage to the remote work lifestyle. Shit, I don’t want to do this job anymore, I hate it. I want to be relaxed and enjoy life. LIfe, wow, I just had a birthday. I am old. Old and out of shape. How come my arm can’t stay on this table. But I am relaxed or am I?

And so my massage went for the entire time. It stuck me very hard how we really are terrible at relaxing and even worse at living in the moment. My mind was out of control and it scared me. Have the little tiny things of life taken over the NOW. Hum. Maybe I should bring it up in mediation class tomorrow.......

Trapped

Trapped.  The cold steel of worry, fear, and procrastination firmly wrapped around your leg.  It happens to all of us at different times.  To some of us it happens all the time.  Sometimes I worry about my fear of putting things off.  Maybe I should just relax and go with the flow?  Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if you were not afraid of things?  I do.  It really does suck to be paralyzed with fear about something that most of the time doesn't exist.  What about worrying about things that almost always don't exist.  By that I mean they have already happened and you are worrying about what you "think" someone thought about it, or you are making up some scene in your head that does not exist and you are worrying about that.  Live in the moment?  Hum.  Could work.  My favorite way to get trapped is to not do something I absolutely know will make a difference in my life.  Maybe it's a phone call, or getting some exercise, perhaps it's just taking one step toward living a dream.  Again, it's almost always a small step yet we want to put things off until tomorrow.

"We spend the best part of our lives earning money in order to enjoy a questionable liberty during the least valuable part of it"  Thoreau.

"We'd love to drop all and explore the world outside, we tell ourselves, bu thte time neer seems right.  Thus, given an unlimited amount of choices, we make none.  Settling into our lives, we get so obsessed with holding on to our domestic certainties that we forget why we desired them in the first place", Rolf Potts.

So.........now what?

Miles

Fear Fandango

When was the last time you tried something you have never done before?  What was it, if you did?  Do you even remember?  Most of us are pretty good at it when we are young.  It's kind of easy really, everything is new.  It's giving it a shot when you get older that is a bit more daunting.  It became very clear to me Saturday morning at a public ice skating rink in Colorado.  Watching an adult learn to ice skate is serious spectator sport.  The facial  expressions, the fear, the pain of the landing all come to together in a moment I call the "Fear Fandango".  The moment with arms failing and feet scrambling to keep the the ship upright only to ultimately lose the fight.  The moment of truth then is really not the mastery of the task but the resolve to keep trying.  This law of achievement is not new.  But as you can see the respect of the effort is not bound my age, gender, nationality, or ability.  Maybe it's time you took the young fearless spirit that is buried inside of you for a mach III drive around block.  Remember....chicks dig scares.

Miles

Don't miss the Tube

In 1994 I had everything I had ever owned stolen.  A big multi room place with all the trappings of a man cave.  The biggest bed money could buy....rarely used..  Guns, sports crap, and most importantly...Televisions.  Not TV's but Televisions.  They were big and heavy and expensive.  But a man had to have at least ...Three.  I had three Televisions in my house.  One day they all disappeared  like a garage sale without the need for making change.  Since that day I have not replaced them.  Man Blind I guess you could call it... NO TV.  Ok, this is the strange part.  I have only missed that device once or twice in all of those years.  Truly.  There used to be an old NIKE ad about throwing away your TELEVISION. Well, I sort of did.

Today my time is more precious.  I read, I think, I enjoy a glass of wine and I  dream.  Occasionally, I end up in a hotel with a "clicker".   Tonight I was in that place.  yes, I turned it on.

A man eating a 7 pound stack of waffles

Vegas bitches

Searching for Bigfoot

A show about a hot tub

A show about a pawn shop cheating a guy

Three shows about dead people

Two shows about some idiot with no talent singing

Another one about catching criminals

4 shopping shows

2 shows about religion

1 old movie in Black and White

4 biased stupid crazy news shows

So if you are the people who stole every thing I own that night or day in 1994.... you can keep the TELEVISIONS and please let me know where to send your Christmas card....handwritten of course.

Miles