Relax

The room was dark and quiet. Sounds of Indian flute music softly danced from the small jam box in the corner. I’m not sure a jam box in a massage room can truly be called a jam box but there is was. Clothes off and under the sheet I slowly wedged my face into the head loop at the top of the table. I let out a big sigh and began the process to complete and utter relaxation. It worked for a second and then my arm fell off of the table. My large frame didn’t allow much room on the sides.

Kathy came in and knowing not to say anything to break my relation ritual just began her routine. The warm hands and pressure felt great on my tired sore body. This was going to be a good one I thought as relaxation was taking hold. As I drifted to nirvana I hoped I had turned off my cell phone on the table. That would be a bitch if work started to call. Especially that goof from Canada. I really needed to get up there and take care of that. Travel that was all I seemed to do these days and with that old suitcase no wonder it was not fun. So after this massage I have to go to the mall to get another one but that would be hard because of the traffic and the weather. It would allow me to eat sushi which was good because I needed to go to the store and pick up some things and I sure hoped I didn’t see my neighbor this time. I should just move away and take advantage to the remote work lifestyle. Shit, I don’t want to do this job anymore, I hate it. I want to be relaxed and enjoy life. LIfe, wow, I just had a birthday. I am old. Old and out of shape. How come my arm can’t stay on this table. But I am relaxed or am I?

And so my massage went for the entire time. It stuck me very hard how we really are terrible at relaxing and even worse at living in the moment. My mind was out of control and it scared me. Have the little tiny things of life taken over the NOW. Hum. Maybe I should bring it up in mediation class tomorrow.......