One Photo # 88, Miscellaneous Hardware

I always used to think it was funny that my friends who bought "developmental properties", were so into their improvements.  Oh Lordy, how that has changed.  OM got a gate.  Yep, not much to look at YET?   But I have a few ideas.  Anyone wanting to chime in on details please don't hesitate.  Anyone close to First Monday please let me know.  I need some of those big tin letters.  Reward is possible.  It's not like the gate sign at the Ponderosa but it might be.  A toast to the pioneer spirit and a good stick welder.  

One Photo #87. Rock Solid Failure

My entry wall was coming along slowly.  When I mean slowly I mean slower than a government worker in a drivers license office..  Damn, rocks are heavy. Yes, don't say it.  For the last few days I've been picking them up along the road on my property and moving them to the now gated entrance.  No guard tower yet so if you visit..just walk around them.  I was busting my ass trying to get these rocks to stack so they looked impressive.  But I would get them going pretty good and of course I would try for too much and they would fall.  It happened a lot.  Then finally I just got tired and starting leaving the fallen ones in their place.  All of the sudden...I had a bigger foundation.  Not as high but stronger and more solid.  Something you could build high on.  Hum.  Maybe all those times you fail at something you really want it is just the gods way of telling you that you need a bigger and stronger foundation.  Success built on match sticks will not survive the wind.  Failing can teach you a lot.  It seems I should be the smartest guy on earth based on that, but maybe I need to lift heavier rocks.  Every day I learn something that I wish I had known before.  Oh well, now pass the BEN GAY.  

One Photo # 86, Stop Reading my Mind

So, have you ever heard the saying that 'free advice is worth the price you pay?"   Well, what is five dollar advice worth when it comes from a trash can?  Hum.  The hard discussions of life on an idle Monday.  Sole search my friends.. and find that five bucks.  Let me know how it goes....

One Photo # 85, The Marfa Lights

Progress.  Why does it always seem so intrusive?  Sometimes don't you just wish they would leave things alone?  Take the stretch of road between Marfa, Texas and Alpine, Texas on Why 90.  The mysterious Mitchell Flats ,home of the Marfa Lights.  Now there is this crazy building and all these perches to stand on.  Really?  The resident aliens are looking back at the throngs of people in this auditorium looking thing and going, " Damn, what over kill, I'm glad I don't live in this crazy place all the time.".  What was wrong with the old concrete picnic tables?  I have seen them 3 times and taken some cool photos of them from just the tables.  Which are now gone.  I don't think expansion is always the best plan when dealing with the unknown.  Just my opinion.  I could be wrong.

One Photo # 84, Shopping at the Prada

After so many years of riding the back roads in this state nothing really surprises me anymore.  Except.  Every time I go by the Prada shop in the middle of nowheresville on Hwy 90 just outside of Valentine.  You just can't make this up.  Nice selection, especially those heels.... if you shop there bring some cash and water.  Just a suggestion.

One Photo # 83, The Cool Chisos

The heat has broken...Winter has returned.  Well, not really, at least it was not 104 today.  It was 82 and perfect.  Just like the view.   Never underestimate the power of the cool weather and some sunshine to engage your natural YEE HAA.  

One Photo # 82, The Ghost Pizza

What is will power anyway?  Someone needs to explain to me truly what it is.  Does it mean you don't do something you didn't want to do anyway?  Or maybe it was 51/49 in favor of not doing something  or doing it?  What the hell is it?  Ok.  If you tackle that one? Does it get harder to have this mysterious "willpower" when you get older?  Dang I don't even know if it's one word or two.  Get those answers rolling in.  I've asked seven questions in 9 sentences and so far no answers.

The pizza ghost is the pizza that should be on that plate that I decided not to get.  Yes, my choice last night after a crazy EMS run was not to order the pizza that I have had in the past.  You see I've been trying to eat better.  UGG.  You know, low carb, no sugar, all kinds of green tasteless lawn mover waste.  In general I have relegated myself to everything that is tasteless and not of my past culinary history.  With a few cheating episodes under the table.   I have realized that you are only as good as your last,  "non meal".  So, will power, why is it hard to do?  I wanted that pizza like my last breath of air.  I could taste the Italian sausage as it tickled my tastebuds.  But I said no.  It hurt so good...for a little bit.  As we drove away with me queasy and waffling I felt a little empowered I admit.  But that quickly gave way to .....I'm too old to deny myself a freakin pizza....or who cares if I can't see my feet, my sprinting days are over.....I love elastic anyway so eat away...  Yes, I fought those to the point of dispare.   It  was like a  heroin addict I guess, waiting for the crash.  Today, I'm better.  The smell of extra crispy as gone from my nose.  Will power......I guess.  What is it really worth?  Answers....I need answers.  

One Photo # 81, Toasty March

There are some good things about having a weather station.  You know exactly how much you are exaggerating the wind speeds and fudging on the temperatures.  There are also some bad things.  Like today.  When you realize that you don't need to exaggerate the temperatures and you really aren't making up the real temperature.  March 22 it was 104 at OM.  Yep, the old accu-rite didn't lie.  The record in the almanac was 98.  I would say another smashed record.  Only 22 or so above normal.  Glad the Rockies and some snow are only a few weeks off.  

One Photo # 80, Water is for Sissies

The Desert never ceases to amaze.  Ocotillo blooming in the desert.  Just FYI, there hasn't been any rain here since Dallas won a playoff game.  It blows with the season and not the weather.  Very cool.  Maybe we all should start blooming with the season and let the weather tell us what to do?  Hum.

One Photo #79, Buzzard Bait Spring

There he is just sitting there.  The grim reaper of the Big Bend.  Hoping for a mistake.  Waiting for your bad luck,  An opportunist to be sure.  Just sitting there waiting for doom.  On the first day of Spring no less.  Well, the old weather station hit 102 degrees today.  In fact, at 6:30 PM it was the old century plus two.  Now a whole host of adjectives come to mind like shit hot, miserable, torture, or inhuman.  Are any of those adjectives? You get the idea.  I realize the sun gods are punishing me because I bitched about 91 last week.  I get it.  But 102?  Come on.  The record out here was 98 so that is a tad vindictive.  This temp was at the By Miles World Headquarters of course.  Maybe under the radar for the National Weather Service but no matter.  A new world record is a new world record.  Our first at OM and the HQ.   What a way to bring in the Spring.  Damn the buzzards! Go out and smell the Springtime.  

One Photo # 78, The Passing Wind

I have written about Jimmy Holbrook before.  In life.  If you are interested go back a year in "NOISE".  There isn't anything to written about him in death that would surpass the life so I'm not going to try.  War hero, humanitarian, local legend, all around good guy.   Jimmy, you could dance...man you could sure dance.  

One Photo # 77, My Life in 10,000 Steps

Those of you who really know me will testify that I'm not a gadget guy.  Fact is...technology scares me.  I actually bought my phone because I needed a phone.  So, it's obvious that I had to have been given this Fitbit piece of machinery.  I finally decided to put the thing on and get some help to make it work.  Now,  I can be made painfully aware of my sloth like lifestyle each and every minute of the day.  Not what I had hoped to be reminded of believe me.  Where did this 10,000 steps torture setting come from anyway?  Who decided I needed to move my body 10,000 steps a day?  I can asure you that moving my body is much more difficult than moving yours.  It's a simple max density equation.  No math here don't worry.  Simplified:  My wheel barrow is more full than yours.  I even saw online today, while I was working up to taking another step, on ways to cheat on the steps meter.  Really?  It's true.  I'm sure some of you have a few ways to hit the buzzer too but it occurred to me that I do have a few  favorites.

Cheaty Ways to Beat the Bit

1.  It takes approximately 87 steps to kill a La Crema Chardonnay bottle.  If you open it yourself it's even better.  Add a couple if you have to get up to get it out of the refrigerator.

2.  Taking a shower.  Yes, I know...it's only water resistant.  But you can knock off about 97 steps with a good shampoo.  Stop...I"m not going there.

3.  101 Steps can be achieved by shaking my famous Mexican Martini recipe. If you go vigorous on it.  Ok.  I might have thrown in a few Samurai lime cuts to buck up the number but it's close.

4. 113 Steps on a full Hokey Pokey.  No video today.

5. Zero steps for that one.  Unless you got the cat of nine tails out.   Might be available on the upgrade?

6. 954 Steps to wash one large Ambulance and one rescue vehicle.  Considering you really aren't taking many steps on this one,  it's a nice perk.

I'm sure some of you have more so let me know.  Please cheat with some dignity.  Last week I saw a women tourist here, get up from the porch.  Go to the parking lot and just wave her arms around for a minute.  A sad sight but I now understand the quest for the wiggling wrist ogre flashing your praises.  Go forth and move something.

One Photo # 76, A Hot Terlingua St. Patties

This was not one of those normal St. Patties day events.  I was just getting ready to get into the parade when the fire alarms went off.  Lajaitas has one less set of buildings and a few less cars tonight.  Not being a fireman by trade it always amazes and impresses me that people, men and woman do that stuff.  Just in case you don't know, most firemen and firewomen in Texas are volunteers.  Let me say that again,  VOLUNTEERS.  If you ever go the National Fire Academy in Emmitsburg, Maryland you will see the names of those who have died in the line of duty etched on a wall.  Most are volunteers.  Let me say that again.  VOLUNTEERS.  So, if you ever get a chance, maybe it would be nice to say thanks.  They all do great and difficult work.  But these are the people that leave their jobs, take risks, work their asses off, and don't get paid.

The lone paramedic doesn't get to shoot water but I do occasionally get to be the back up keyboard player.  This was my keyboard today.  One of those seemed to turn the water on.....which one?  Hum.  

One Photo # 75, Who Be You

Have you ever wondered how you would describe yourself to someone who never had met you?  One of those third party descriptions like, "the truth about Al'.  Not one of those match description things about how wonderful you are and your poetry writing or your loving long walks in the rain.  I mean an honest evaluation of you.  I hear something the other day that completely startled me.  A truth I think' that hit me right between the eyes like a champagne cork on New Year's.  

It goes something like this.  We are a pain oriented society.  The basis of the vast majority of our interactions is pain.  Stay with me.  It's pretty true.  We have conversations mostly about things that are wrong.  In other words we complain.  I start complaining about the weather and you jump in....then we move to my back and your foot.  We could go on for days like this but if we changed the subject to what is awesome and I had the best day and my whoopee was fabulous this morning... We would be shut down in a blink.  The person we were talking to would think.."I don't need to listen to this crap", or "what a conceded blank and bragger".  Right?  Tell it's not true?  It is.   If we had a job and a death in the family our employer would say ...usually...go take care of your family situation. Come back when you are ready...  If you had a flat or car trouble...most would just shrug overlook the details...or if you were sick.   But what would happen if you decided that today the weather was perfect and you wanted to be outside?  They would tell you to never come back if you took the day off.  All true I think.  Does anyone think that is one really strange way to live?  It caused me to take a look at who I really am and who I think I am and who I would like to be.  Sufficient to say...I'm not the person I want to be.  I happen to like myself and a pathway that is a little odd perhaps but I am that mostly the complaining person that I mentioned before.  I just didn't pay much attention to it because most of the folks around me were doing to the same thing.  So, my future gift to all of you...friends out there.  Even the ones I really don't know....I promise to listen to every positive, happy, inspiring, playful,  and exciting word, plan, dream, and act you throw at me.  If I forget....you remind me.  Now stop complaining and go introduce yourself to you.  

One Photo # 74, Tres Catrinas

Do you ever see your day sort of looking like this?   Today was one of these days?  Just about everything I did today illicit a laugh from a grinning skull type person.  You know that sick laugh that says...pay if you want..you still get charged a late fee.  Or you get these enormous boxes from Amazon and you are jacked because you bought the biggest packing containers known to man.  Only to open them up and find the container you ordered is half the size of the box.  Then you see a Catrina at the recycling trailer when you realize the huge cardboard boxes you pulverized in rage are now beyond hope of a return.   How about the cold boney hand on your shoulder at a 400 lbs. lift assist.  Yes, it was that kind of day and the grinning skulls were smiling.  LJ Short did this drawing.  There are still few prints life in the Art Gallery if you come this way.  

One Photo # 73, A Glass of Chisos

I heard today that when our local Philosopher  "Catfish" was asked what is the best thing about living in Terlingua he said, "the light".  Well, I now have proof that it's all about the light.  The Chisos Mountains have never looked as golden as they were tonight.  Please tip a glass of Chisos in honor the Catfish.  He was spot on.  

One Photo # 72, The Indecisive Moment

The great French street photographer, Henri Cartier Bresson spoke about the decisive moment in his work.  I am here to talk about the "indecisive moment" as it relates to dinner choices of course.  How many of you out there have had those days when it's impossible to come up with what you want for dinner.  Come on....I know you know.  Too lazy or not hungry enough for the big meal and too hungry to just eat that 4 week old mozzarella cheese stick.  Well, I was in the grip of the indecisive moment this evening.  Anyone ever made party snacks for dinner?  Never?  Tonight it was grilled bacon wrapped shrimp as the main course with Tamagoyaki with gouda cheese and diced shrimp inside, bathed in a glaze of yum yum sauce.  To round it off a half of a banana with some sugar free syrup.   Take that for the strangest dinner in recent memory.  UPDATE:  I'm still holding it down.  But forgot I'm on duty.  May the force be with me.

One Photo # 71, Good Morning Moon

The ancient ones out here wrote about those rare times when night and day fade into one.  "Chee coweh manioca kakkao ah la lanano",  they used to say.  Or something like that.  This morning on the way to protect and serve this was my welcome.  No doubt about it.  It has to be good luck.  A morning moon settling in for the day.  It reminds me of that Dan Fogleberg song line, " the songs that the darkness compose to worship the light".   Love that song even though a band member ran off with my date at a Dan Fogleberg concert.  It's time to forgive.  "Ah Ha Lani Chac".   So true.  

One Photo # 70, A Day at the Races

It's hard to believe that it's that time of the year again.  Early Spring can mean only one thing.  The Terlingua Chihuahua Races.  This is the week before the silence is melted by Tourons for Spring Break and the races provide a little culture before the onslaught.  Now the Chihuahua Races are not just for rat dogs.  They have a "Mestizo" category.  Which included some photo finishes this year.  This close race was one by BOOP TI in a laser like sprint.  If you have a rat dog or can borrow one, you might think about the Terlingua event provided Churchill Downs in not on your calendar this year.  

One Photo # 69, A Strange Snack

What do people eat when they are not supposed to eat?  That really is what a snack is, right?  Something to tide you over until you eat that other stuff that is going to be the meal.  Well, years ago an amigo told me about these strange canned snacks if you can call them that...Kipper snacks.  Says it on the can.  Odd oily fish compacted in a slick silver can with one of those big roll back openings.  You know the ones that your parents always said to be careful with.  "It's going to cut you...let your dad to that."  He cut himself of course.  So, I found these odd things in the Cottonwood store here in Terlingua the other day.  Cottonwood is the definition of the country store.  They sell gourmet cheese, tire repair supplies, drill pipe, plants, and medical devices.  And yes, they sell kipper snacks.  All those Easterners must love anything that they can eat without building a fire.

This is not a hot plate gourmet moment but I have come across the perfect pre-meal meal that is not a real meal.  The stuff that is in the kipper can...minus the oil, some mayo hot sauce, a little wasabi salt, and a pair of chop stixs.  Yep, it's so hip Terlingua.  Give it a try and help me come up with a name.

Maybe...Spicy stink fish? 

One Photo # 68, Upping my Game

I have always considered myself a "conservationist" of sorts.  I love wildlife and stopped hunting years ago.  I will swerve to miss a snake and have stopped to move turtles out of the road.  Stop the sniffles please, I have a  darker side.  My lustful hate for the winged insect knows no bounds.  I hate them all.  I have been told that they have redeeming qualities occasionally. Pollination has been mentioned along with their best quality....Honey of course.  I don't really despise those varieties because they leave you alone for the most part.  My hatred is focused at those miserable sideshow freaks the gods put on this earth to sell 100% DEET and citronella candles.  The Mosquitos and the flies.  Out here on the frontier we are starting fly season.  If these beasts have a propose I can't find anyone that knows it or admits it.  Today I have declared war on the ugly buzzing pests and have upped my game.  Gone high tech I suppose. The only thing I'm missing is a good greasy fairway grip and a 50 gallon trash bag to sack them up.  I am decimating the population.  It won't be long before it's like living in Singapore.  You hear the gentle hum of DDT foggers early in the morning...Huge clouds of pesticide slowly drifting down the street.  Little men with blowers and wet rags around their heads marching along....Some of course are blind, and few have buffalo humps but in Singapore you can leave your windows open... Heaven.  Me, I have chosen to face the bastards eye to eye, mano a mano, a duel to the dead.   Fight back I say....I fight back.

One Photo # 67, What dat is?

Even in the Big Bend driving can occasionally get a little mindless.  The vistas and the sunsets blend into a pace of life and in some ways you just get used to the beauty.  I can hear you urban warriors groaning "whatever".  The drive to Alpine from Terlingua is about 80 miles and it cuts through some great big Texas size ranches.  We are talking big.  800 gillion god billion acres is not uncommon.  A big chunk of the drive is through the O2 Ranch.  The O2 is one of the big boys but they are doing some cool things.  Like zero grazing in places so the natural plant life can return.  Wildlife conservation of all kinds and they are even introducing some foreign visitors.  No worries these guys are now naturalized citizens.  The Scimitar-Horned Oryx can be seen every once in awhile from the road.  The herd numbers a hundred or more and somehow this dude is on the wrong side of the highway.  It's funny to watch the cars skid off the highway when they spot this thing.  "Martha, that an elk"?  Martha wipes out her Big Bend Wildlife Guide that Reba gave her and makes a frantic search.  Flustered and confused, Martha says, "well it sure is...a big one". 

One Photo # 66, Dangerous

No chained pit bulls here.  Motion sensors....leave them out.  Maybe a pungi pit or two?  I'm not saying.  All I can say is "Dangerous" and you are being watched of course.  I mean I wouldn't want some intruder to get hurt now would I?  So, they have been warned.  I know it scared me when I first saw the sign.  

One Photo # 65, Terlingua Crab Cakes

The hot plate gourmet threw down some creative culinary jive this evening with Terlingua Crab Cakes.  Now these crabs are not the ones you used to get?...These are the little angels came from the oriental market in the "City", not from the Rio Grande.  In a fit of crazed cookery, this dish was infused with some Terlingua fare.  Roasted tortilla flakes, Habanero peppers, Big Bend Honey, and a far coating of dust.  (I had the windows open).  The real kick in the pants was the sauce.  Now, I can't really divulge the complete culinary chemistry on this one.  I'm sure you will understand.  Let's just say...no Junior League  cook book plagiarism here.  That stuff was not for the faint hearted.  Peppers, some mayo, some wasabi salt, goose grease and few cactus spines.  Stay tuned for another episode of the Hot Plate Gourmet....now pass the antacids.  

One Photo # 64, Polaroid Good-Bye

Not enough said about sad good-byes.  The Captain is going again for a few months...We all hail the chief.  Waiting for your return and the next chapter.   God speed and low gas prices.... Amigos des Terlingua.

One Photo # 63, Bagophilia

Like many of us, you know something is wrong.  At first you observe it but do not worry.  Then you worry but do not do anything.  Afterwards, you become obsessed but then wall the affliction off with denial.  The same said story has come to pass with me too.  I have never been officially diagnosed with Bagophilia but it's obvious I am a victim.  17 packages of Zip Locks speaks volumes on how terrible this curse can be.  Maybe deep down I'm afraid the plastics industry will fold or the EPA will shut them down.  The thought of going back to saran wrap keeps me awake.  Well, today I am starting down the road to recovery.  I bought washable containers.  No small feat for a Bagophiliac.  Sure I will still use up the ones I have...oh lord no.. and save the super duty sliding freezer bags for those "special moments".  Come out of the closet I say.  Join me in finding a clean reusable future.  Maybe someday we will be in the movement that brings back the returnable coke bottle.  

One Photo # 62, That Ranger Thang

It's official.  I will be EMS Rangering in Yellowstone National Park this summer.  My playground will be the Canyon District and the Hayden Valley.  The area has the Hayden, Yellowstone Falls, the Geyser Basin, Mt Washburn and lots of stuff.  A great bunch of folks sound like they are coming back from my adventures there two years ago.  Will miss the head gunslinger however...TT.  Still excited to get my bison and bear groove on.  If you have never been, you really should take a look.  Be sure to look me up....everyone knows the number ..911.  Bring a dry chard and a Chinese Phrase book.  

One Photo # 61, Check Point

It's 80 miles from Terlingua to Alpine.  A gorgeous piece of road that encompasses just about everything that feels Texas.  Open highway that stretches to the purple horizon, windy switchbacks on rocky mountain roads.  Horses, goats, and deer painted in a backdrop of endless landscape.  It just feels Texas.  Then 14 miles South of Alpine you come up on something so out of place it jolts the road high right out of you.   The U.S. Border Patrol Hwy. 118 Check Point.  Dozens of cameras and sensors line the drive into the structure.  Men and women with guns and dogs quickly shuffle out to meet each vehicle.  The "Talker" always is polite and says, " good afternoon...US citizen?" A yes will get you waved on as long as "butch" the super nose canine approves.   No matter what you think of the politics, these dudes are doing a hard and dangerous job.  I'm not asking for your "thumbs up" on border immigration.  Just an respectful understanding of people doing a hard job.  There are stories to be told in border communities that most would not believe.  It's all about respect no matter which side of this check point you end up on.  

One Photo # 60, The Hot Plate Gourmet

Does anyone remember the "Galloping Gourmet"?  The funky English guy in the 60's clothes that always had a wine glass in his hand and was a little looped?  What a great show.  Well, I'm hoping to bring him back in a way with the "Hot Plate Gourmet".  Except I'm not English, I don't have a TV show, I can't cook and I have no real kitchen to figure it out.  Those things aside, there is a new Chef in town.  Move over Gordon Ramsey and Bobby Flay, you may get hurt in this one.  Nothing beats the single burner.